I’m an ad guy, okay, so I’m expected to be upbeat about what is currently going on in our economy. Sure, I have an economic self interest in promoting the economy.  But I have to tell you we need to stop talking about the end of the world–the high price of a barrel of oil. (Does anyone really know how a barrel of oil converts to our local gas station?) I have a suggestion: buy oil company stock and stop whining.

There is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy and what it does to us. Read this article (http://columbus.bizjournals.com/columbus/stories/2008/01/21/editorial2.html) and maybe you will begin to see what I’m talking about.

I make the new business calls here at the agency and I’m telling you there are some days when it appears I should slit my wrists because everything is so bad.

Wake up! It’s not all bad. Yes, the economy is sluggish. Yes, we owe too much of our debt to China. And yes, we have the Iraq War. But folks, unemployment is under control as is inflation. Rates for borrowing money are down and your President and Congress just sent you some money to play with.  So go play with it.

The economies of all major industrial countries are cyclical and this too shall pass…but maybe we could speed it up by being a little more positive today.

I’m a guy, and as my mostly female staff would attest this week’s topic comes way to easy. My loyal readers realize that there are some days when I want to take on difficult and controversial issues. This is not one of those days. Today is a rant day!

I’m just back from nine days on the road in two large cities (Vegas and Phoenix) and I found something that perturbed me. (Go figure.) There are automatic bathrooms everywhere. In airports, restaurants, tourist attractions, golf courses–you name a location and I found an automatic bathroom there.

What exactly is an automatic bathroom? It’s the one that the door opens automatically as you approach it, brings down the little seat cover paper automatically, flushes the toilet automatically, starts the water faucet automatically (in theory when you put your hands under the spout) and then dispenses paper automatically as you stand there dripping wet!

Has the world become so lazy that we can no longer be trusted to do these functions ourselves? I mean, I have heard of big brother but this is absurd. Okay, for health and environmental reasons I can understand why these functions may “benefit us.” That presumes the functions actually work properly and don’t take three times as long to work as their manual alternatives.

So, if we have gone so far as to automate personal hygiene, here are a few other things that could stand to be automated for the benefit of us citizens: the United States Congress, The President, my golf game, lawyers returning phone calls (now that would be great), grocery shopping, laundry…

Hopefully you get my point…automatically!

You know the saying, “While the cat’s away the mice will play,” so here I am, guest blogging for the Boss. I’ve never been invited to sit in his seat for the Woody and Al show (thank goodness), but I have had a chance to “stand in” for the boss here and there for other activities. Granted, it’s usually on the rare occasion when he doesn’t want to do something or he can’t. But nonetheless, “stand in” should probably be part of my job description.

As a public relations professional I find myself being others every day. I often speak on my clients’ behalf and advise them what to say—sometimes I even script it for them. I write editorials from their point of view and I help (with a great team of others here at the office) determine what’s best for them in the marketing world.

My job is to find a way to one-up my clients over their competition. I have to find that something that makes them the better option. To best determine how they have a leg up over their competitors, I have to pay close attention to the competition. Impressions are everything to me and I do a lot of pseudo-investigating. I watch people closely. I pay close attention to customer service. I price shop, comparison shop and window shop.

I guess you could say my profession has made me an informed consumer and in some regards, more of a loyal customer. Being a “stand in” isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s probably saved me money (my husband can thank me later) and I like to think it has contributed to the success of my clients. It’s a win-win all around. Now if only I could find a way to “stand in” for the Boss when he visits the satellite office in Florida…